Attorney At Law

A Divorce Attorney will tell you that 90% of divorces are settled in a rancorous, hostile atmosphere. Raw emotions can cloud the issues and make compromise and co-operation difficult if not impossible. Children and property are often at the center of the battlefield. Ex-spouses begin life after a divorce resentful and bitter, and tend to harm each other in indirect and direct ways. The divorce attorney is an important player in this drama, and can do much to reduce the animosity and frustration between a couple, and to arrive at a resolution that is reasonable and fair to both parties.

Using their abilities to mediate, a divorce lawyer can insure that each is heard above the deafening silences and the shouting that is often part of the process. The type of divorce determines the level of hostility. In uncontested divorces the anger is often much less, since both want the divorce and have agreed to all the marital issues. The divorce is more or less amicable. On the other hand, contested divorces can be cruel, malevolent and spiteful. Contested divorces can involve a bitter trial hearing.

Divorce records are public and available to all at the county registrar’s office where the divorce was recorded, and on the internet. The Internet has not only made the search for records quick and convenient, it also affords the person doing the search anonymity and discretion.

As one of the most stressful experiences in life, studies have shown that the affects of divorce are more intense and long lasting than a death in the family. When you are sitting across the table trying to negotiate with the person you used to sleep with every night and who shares the most intimate details of your life.

Having seen and experienced many of the possible results, a good divorce attorney will have the bigger picture in mind. The parting couples often lose sight of what is required for the future, and get stuck in the present moment, ignoring the best interests of the children for instance. Child support and the children are usually the most contested issues that, unfortunately, become bargaining chips and control points.

Few people are eager to meet with a divorce attorney and fewer still know what to expect when they do. You should feel comfortable that your name and everything you say will be confidential when you speak to the attorney. Tell the attorney whether you can be called at home, whether caller ID should be disabled to block the attorney’s identity, and whether it is okay to leave a message for you. Usually, the attorney will not ask you to bring anything with you to your initial consultation unless you have already been served with legal papers, which the attorney will want to review.

A divorce attorney will explain some of the divorce process, issues involving your children, the legal system, support (alimony and child support), division of assets and debts, and attorneys’ and experts’ fees if necessary. In order to address those issues, a divorce lawyer needs to ask you questions that may seem intensely personal. You should be candid and direct with your attorney about the facts and the details. Be prepared to be honest and truthful because the lawyer’s advice will come from the information you provide.

The lawyer is not there to tell you what you want to hear, nor is he/she your friend or therapist. Instead, a family law attorney should provide you with plain and simple advice related to your specific circumstances. He will need to know if there was any domestic violence or other unacceptable behavior. This information will help devise a plan to protect you and to deal with those issues.

Child support for many divorced people is a major and continuing source of conflict. The federal government has taken a significant role in enforcing child support orders, by coordinating information gathering and sharing between federal agencies and among the states. Divorcing parents should be reasonable with each other and be able to agree on an amount that is both fair to the receiving parent and not overly oppressive to the paying parent. A common complaint from paying parents is that the receiving parents are not using the money for the welfare of the children. Child support is viewed as a “control issue” by many parents. Changes in finances due to remarriage, the lose of a job, or medical problems of a paying parent can make it difficult to provide large sums of money every month in addition to their own living expenses.

Child support laws are different in every state. Discuss the matter with your divorce attorney or research online for specifics for the state where you live. Some states are more zealous than others in collecting unpaid support. Some states will block the renewal of U.S. passports, as well as professional, hunting, and driver’s licenses of those who owe back support. Many states also intercept income tax refunds and applying the money to unpaid child support. Your divorce attorney can tell you how aggressive is your state at collecting.

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